“Sex work is capitalism on my terms.”
- Ramona Ryder
I believe I was born to do this. I think I am successful because I deeply love what I do and I do it by choice. I have lived the “square life.” Well, it was more a double life. I'd wear pencil skirts and glasses by day as I worked 9-to-5 type jobs. Then when I'd get home, it was all leather and miniskirts, riding motorcycles and playing in punk bands.
I was always able to walk the line between both worlds and be responsible. I held real substantive professional positions, woke up before sunrise on weekdays, computed my own taxes, and lived in the “real world.” I hold a BA and have a straight-and-narrow career to which I could easily return. But, I would never trade my current life for anything as this is my proper vocation.
I feel it is my calling but it also gives me pleasure. I recently received this email from my first-ever client whom I consider a dear friend. He has watched me this whole time and recently wrote me this:
I am in awe of how you ran with your skills with what you do! In about a year on Night Shift you have upped your game to the top! It’s really no surprise though given your sensual essence. I will always admire you not only as (in some weird way) a friend as well as professional but as a woman who goes for what she wants…sets boundaries around her well-being…rises to the top in her field all IN LESS THAN ONE YEAR!!! I bow down…men fall in love with you…Homer’s sirens!
It was super touching to get this email of recognition from a hobbyist who knows the industry and has seen me since day one. If you want to read more testimonials, feel free to read my Praise page - I was born for this!
The Ramona who you see today did not emerge out of a vacuum. That said, none of this lifestyle or career success has surprised me. I have always been “hot to trot” if you will and (just a little) boy crazy. As I grew older and began to explore my sexuality, I was adventurous from the get-go and willing to try anything once. I am definitely bisexual and a deep lover of pleasure. Pleasure is my favorite pastime whether it’s lazy days in bed indulgently masturbating, watching a man whole-heartedly surrender to me on his knees, or powerful vaginal orgasms produced by deep thrusts and enhanced by my legendary Kegel muscles. I am multi-orgasmic and I live for pleasure - a true hedonist!
As a professional dominatrix and courtesan, I am not “stepping into a role” or “playing a part.” What you see is the real me: an adventurous, dominant woman who is highly sexual and enjoys playing. I do not do anything that does not give me pleasure nor engage with anyone with whom I do not derive pleasure. I do believe I have been successful by being my most authentic self while playing by my rules and standards. So if you see me it’s because I want to see you. When you see me it’s actually me. I don’t really have to “sell” an image. In essence, I am literally and figuratively "selling myself" although under a nom de plume.
From previous blogs or reading my website, you probably already have an idea of who I am but not how I got here, which leads us to the question: How did I become Mistress Ramona Ryder? Well, to take away the mystery, "Ramona" is for my love of my hometown punk heroes, the Ramones. I basically grew up at CBGB’s and running around the Lower East Side where they got their start, albeit many years before when I was a naughty teenager. "Ryder" is a nod to my love of motorcycles and maybe riding something else. One could say that I live to ride. And Mistress is a double entendre as I am a dominatrix, and a lot of you boys are married…
So, where did it all begin? I had been a paralegal for several years and had done well for myself. I was frustrated by the “9-to-5" life due to the hours conflicting with my numerous artistic pursuits in music and writing. Also, my middle class salary just never quite cut it with the cost of living in the Bay Area. So, when I got laid off, being replaced by a computer program, a girl I knew from the music community and had played music with briefly (a Jill-of-all-trades sex worker being a dominatrix/switch, stripper, masseuse, and escort) put me in touch with her boss at a cute Marin massage parlor.
The free-spirited owner took me on immediately, gave me an hour-long training in sensual massage, and told me to start the next day. Ramona was born. My first-ever client (whom I quoted when I began this piece) is still one of my most regular and devoted to this day. He started off with an hour session but a few minutes into our time together we enthusiastically extended it.
It was a fantastic experience and set the tone for my sessions to come. Not only was he kind and generous, but he had been seeing providers as long as I had been alive. He deeply cared for my well being and safety and also mentored me in the industry from the male perspective. He helped support me to go independent, as did a strong community of Bay Area providers.
My evolution from tantric massage to more kinky pursuits began with “sensual domination” mostly involving prostate massage and strap-on play. This opened up a Pandora’s box of all sorts of fun and thus paved the way for me to become a skilled and adventurous pro-dominatrix. Regarding being a domme, I am always dominant in every facet of my life, so that aspect came naturally. And on a professional level, I was beginning to build up quite the repertoire.
While doing sensual domination, I engaged in forced feminization, CBT, role-play that included a lot of cuckold fantasies, golden showers, verbal humiliation and degradation, corporal punishment, and a slew of other fetishes. I had played around in my personal life with D/s dynamics but doing it day in and day out rapidly exposed me to a fuller gamut of experiences and desires.
I could only take four months working for someone else. After a point, I needed to control my schedule and have a more pristine, less shared space in which to work my magic. You may label me a control freak but I am insane about providing a top quality experience and my environment matters. I was also losing a lot of income to the 60/40 cut. Being the business woman that I am and fiercely self-reliant, I transitioned easily to being independent and had a fair share of clients who came with me. I quickly found a beautiful, fully-equipped dungeon and a hip tantra space in the East Bay and I have never looked back.
You now understand a bit more where your mysterious "Ramona" came from. Even if I may seem unbelievable to you, I assure you I am real. It has been a glorious adventure so far and this time of year marks the anniversary of the birth of Mistress Ramona Ryder. I hope this next year brings even more fun adventures which we can explore together.