Your NYC Mistress

Ramona Ryder wears a long sleeve black latex dress and Louboutin heels

ADDICTED TO TOURING

I “should” stay put- every practical argument supports it. New York sustains me easily, my work flourishes without strain, and there is no financial or professional reason to leave. I had an assistant for a hot minute and, when she looked at my numbers, she said that I never needed to leave New York again. For this Mistress, restlessness is not a thing to be repressed- it's an overwhelming lust for adventure that must be unleashed.

Touring has always been about the experience, whether in a beat-up punk van or first class. Tour life is about experiencing new sights and electrifying sensations. Whether speeding across state lines in the driver's seat of a punk van, I was always the designated driver, or sweet-talking my way through TSA checkpoints with stainless steel sex toys that could double as bludgeons, debauchery is always guaranteed.

Stillness dulls me over time while movement restores my sense of self. I don't tour because I must- I tour because it's who I am. Long before I became anyone's “Mistress”, I learned this way of life through punk. I spent years on the road with my own bands, and other people's, living inside that fever dream where every night you gave your all and you never knew what to expect. Tour life carried me across Austria, Canada, China, Costa Rica, Cuba, the Czech Republic, Denmark, the Dominican Republic, England, France, Germany, Hungary, Iceland, Italy, Japan, Mexico, the Netherlands, Romania, Scotland, Spain, and Sweden- not in any order at all. I have lived an epic life because of the urge to roam with desire and curiosity.

Tour life taught me how to give everything in a short window and disappear before it decayed. It taught me how attention sharpens when it's finite and how chemistry intensifies when departure is already scheduled. I hopped in tour vans that weren't my own and still had no need to live vicariously through whatever band I was with. I would pick whoever I wanted to fuck in each city, and seduce them that night, only to leave the next day. This was perfect for me as I love the container that limited time produces.

A tour for me was loud excitement, risk, and a bittersweet series of goodbyes that always carried the promise of return. Long-distance relationships grew naturally out of that world. The smell of my perfume lingered long after I departed- I always left a mark whether it was a rare KBD (Killed By Death vinyl record compilation series- get on this) song that reminded them of me forever or a scratch down their back. Long distance was never lonely for me- it was lustfully inspirational. I lived for the anticipation of reunion on the road.

Waiting created tension while distance created fantasy. When we finally met again, we were starved. There was no erosion by routine and no softening by familiarity. Too horny to wait, we hooked up in green rooms, vans, or bathroom stalls- where time felt suspended & the best sex was had. I learned that lust thrives when it's contained, anticipated, and given a beginning and an end.

Becoming a Mistress did not change this life pattern- it refined it. The same instincts that once pulled me across cities and countries with punk bands now guides how I move through this world with you. Touring, planning, intensity, departure, and lingering desire are not habits that I outgrew; they are the architecture of how I love, work, and seduce. I don't want shared routines or domestic predictability…I want anticipation with intention. I want the electricity that exists when two people choose each other for a defined moment and make it unforgettable. This is how I have always lived, and it is how I will continue- with purpose, lust, and a suitcase that is never quite unpacked. I keep saying that I'll stay put but I never do.

My current intention is that West Coast tours will be rarer and I will mostly stick to my time zone, save Chicago. The TSA hates me and I hate them. Amtrak all the way, baby, as much as I can- see you soon Boston and DC!