WHAT’S YOUR THING?

Your NYC Mistress

BOSTON May 18-21✧ SAN FRANCISCO July 19-29

My Amazon wish list is here and my sexy wish list is here. 

THIS SHOULD TURN YOU ON

While shopping in Paris, I went to both Maison Ernest stores even though I already had all the shoes and accessories that I desired from them. I just wanted to be surrounded by their heels and make the trip to my Mecca. I felt bad for the salesgirls, but boy did it feel like home. You have probably noticed that I mostly wear Louboutin heels, but the real deal diehard heel freaks worship Maison Ernest. My men bought them for me with pleasure, getting hard as they hit “pay.” There is a certain excitement in serving me, but most do not know that I get wet just opening the gift.

I was born a fetishist for many things sensual, from silk slips that I wear around the house and wear to sleep, to the touch and smell of leather. But shoes were the first stirrings inside of me where I had to have them, even if they did not fit- I just had to look and touch. One of my most vivid memories is getting turned on at Trash and Vaudeville, legendary East Village punk store, by simply looking at the heels. The shoes were downstairs and they had everything from punk to hooker-chic. Just a side note, RIP Jimmy Webb who always gave me a discount and totally went after my underage teenage runaway boyfriend. You were a total pervert but so much fun! Thanks for the discount on my first pair of fetish heels.

I got turned on looking at patent leather black pumps and I could walk in them- I have never had an issue walking in heels. They were Pleasers and that was all I could afford in high school. Trash had an amazing array of affordable sexy heels and boots. I mentioned high school and yes, I am talking about myself as an underage girl discovering my sexuality. I try not to do this because fans get into the idea of teen Ramona. I am not trying to sexualize myself at this age for the male reader, but what I want to do is explain where Ramona Ryder came from.

I am the real deal, and you know this, but did you know I was born this way? I do not have sexual trauma, to my knowledge, and do not remember any of the things I lust after being imprinted as a youth. There was silk underwear from Bloomingdale's that I got only because it was a good deal and bows were totally a thing. I totally lust for bows. I always wanted to have a man come home to me when I grew up who I would wear sheer robes with feather trim on them with silk negligees. Those old black and white movies where women were femme fatales and hyper-femme, turned to technicolor in my head, laying the foundation for the future I longed for as a muse.

I have always desired the male gaze and got it in the punk scene but did not really become someone where you would immediately do a double take until I got sober at 20. Sobriety was where I fully submitted to being exactly who I wanted to be. My clarity made me more sexually forward and, unlike many who find liberation in alcohol, I found alcohol to suffocate and dull my desire. When I was drinking, all I wanted was the next drink, not to fuck (although I'd lead you on like I would fuck you if you got me another drink). 

Meeting another true sensualist is rare. I ask questions like, “did you ever dip your hands in bags of flour just to feel it?” or “did you touch women's fur coats (strangers) from behind on a packed subway car?” With the real diehards, these sensations, smells, tactile love affairs…we cannot help our inclinations to want to worship. I wear things that feel good but are not necessarily comfortable. Cadolle was also another stop in Paris for their corsets and I deeply regret not buying one.

I am not one for comfort. I remember when Uggs came out and I would be wearing heels with straps with tiny buckles that had tiny holes that were impossible to put on. As a punk, I abhor zippers. Zippers are for posers. If you want to have punk sex, naked, consider the five minutes of taking off the made in England only Doc Martens as a form of foreplay. I love lacing myself up. I must admit, I do have two pairs of “cheat” OTK boots with zippers and one pair of Prada knee high boots; besides that, all my boots are a pleasurable pain in the ass.

When I find someone like me, there is nothing sexier than them getting on their knees, holding my legs gently, and unbuckling or unlacing me. The men who request latex, only to want it off immediately, should not be requesting latex. Latex is earned- I want you to slowly smell the rubber scent in ecstasy as I let you shine me top to bottom. The feeling of wearing latex over my pussy and being touched is like no other. It feels electric to be touched, fingers and hands gliding over me, when I wear latex.

I am obsessed with many things and an expert on them all. When I am into something, I am into it. My seen Ramona men know how I can focus and nothing else matters when I am with them. If they have a true fetish or fantasy, then it is game on, because we often share it in the same way. I collect shoes, silk slips, vintage Agent Provocateur (only with garters), corsets, and latex. At this point, I mostly have it all, and even though my second bedroom is a walk-in closet, I am almost out of room for shoes. I think I may need to build a third tier above my closet.

Just like my shoes, I am intentional with who I see. I want to feel that charge of energy being in the same room. It means a lot to me when my men make outfits requests and are excited by them in reality. Sometimes the fantasy, or something you saw in porn, will not translate to real life. I am here for that process of discovery, too. Ultimately, I seek the men who worship me, who worship beauty, who love the effort that I make, feel my stockings with delight, or even just want to listen to the sound of me crossing and uncrossing my nyloned legs while wearing dangerous stilettos.

My birthday just passed on May 2nd and I have a sexy wish list just for you. I am going through an Irving Klaw phase right now, so I want the most extreme 6” heels that I can find. Vintage smut is my favorite. I am sad that I missed the Bettie Page show collaboration but at least I have been to her grave in LA (I am a size 9- black or leopard please). Anyway, worship me in person, spoil me rotten, and please know that your kink is my kink. I will take the “normal” ones, too, but you guys always confuse me. What is life without a sensual passion? A fetish? A kink? A fantasy? Something that is out of your control and may even control you…I love a sexual craving.