THE FAQ

Everything you need to know before reaching out to your Mistress!

To get to what you’re looking for, use the links below:

BOOKING PROTOCOL ✧ DEPOSIT, TRIBUTE, & RESERVATION FEES ✧ GIFTING ✧ OUR MEETING ✧ HYGIENE ✧

MY SPECIALTIES + HARD LIMITS ✧ MISCELLANEOUS

FRIENDS PAGE ✧ CREDITS + ANSWERS

BOOKING, CONTACT, SCREENING, & PROTOCOL

  • Fill out my contact form. Keep it brief- introduce yourself, state what kind of session you are interested in, and include two provider references (name, email, and website). Mistress loves brevity! A provider is not a reference if they do not have a website. If you are new with no references, a LinkedIn or professional website works to start (read below). I will act as a reference anytime after seeing you, can whitelist you on TER, and OK you on P411. If you refuse to provide me with a phone number then I will refuse to see you. If you are not new to this world, but screening without references, you need to make it clear to me that I am not your first.

  • If you have no references then, where you would enter provider references on my contact form, please provide me with the following: a link to your public LinkedIn profile and/or a link to a professional business website. If you do not have either, please write me a nice, courteous message explaining that you do not have either but offer other ways that you can prove your identity in order to make me feel secure that you’re not Ted Bundy.

    Once your contact form is received, and if it looks like you are an intelligent and thoughtful human being, I will write back and request that one or all of the following be provided to me: a photograph of a government issued ID with personal information covered or blurred out (such as your home address) but leaving your full name, date of birth, and photo, a public LinkedIn, work ID with your picture, a photo of your business card, or an email sent to me from your business email may also be required. Most unexpired government issued IDs will suffice in addition to professional looking work information to prove to me that you are a functional human. Following my instructions and jumping through my hoops also proves your devotion and ability to follow directions.

  • As far in advance as you can! I do not accept same-day, next-day, or rarely same-week requests. Being booked out several weeks or even months ahead is completely normal for me. Patience is essential and my favorite quality in a man. Tours fill up fast so book with me as soon as you find out. Get on my city-specific mailings lists to be the first to hear about new tours!

  • I will reply by email, within a week, if you followed directions. Please wait until I contact you and do not follow up if you do not hear back for a few days. I will reply to confirm a date and time, get you screened, and then I will ask for a reservation fee. Please do not send the fee until I explicitly request it. If you must contact me to get my attention, before my response, then utilize my wish list.

    • Always reply to our last email thread- try not to start a new one.

    • Wait for my reply before following up. Nudge me politely if time-sensitive and over one week.

    • Keep all messages short and to the point.

    • After our first meeting, email only- no calls, texts, or P411 messages.

    For those interested in discretion please read my blog on how to not get caught.

DEPOSIT, TRIBUTE, & RESERVATION FEE

  • My reservation fee is non-refundable and does not apply toward the session tribute. If you need to reschedule, a new one is required for the new date unless it is an act of Goddess like a horrible snowstorm grounding all flights. Do not send this fee until I ask for it. I do my reservation fees in angel numbers such as $333 for a three-hour session or $444 for a four-hour session to keep our session lucky. The reservation fee rarely goes above $444 unless it is a session of eight hours or more in which I may ask for a deposit that goes toward the tribute when we meet.

  • Electronic gift cards are to be sent to my private email only, which you will know when I respond to your contact form. I rarely check my public email RamonaRyderNYC at gmail dot com. Electronic Amazon, Whole Foods, or Uber gift cards are used to reserve our appointment. Cash App or Bitcoin are also acceptable. PLEASE DO NOT PUT A NOTE OF ANY KIND- but you need to include a note for Cash App so say, “for cat treats” or “for leather” and so on- keep it vanilla and try and make me smile. You can give me cash when we meet, as a deposit for next time, if you know you want to see me again.

    • Three hours: $3,000- my minimum

    • Four hours indoors $4500

    • Four-hour lunch date $3500

    • Four-hour dinner date $4000

    • Six to eight hours: that number × $1,000 with an outdoor activity

    • Overnight (approximately 16 hours such as 6pm-10am): $14,000

    • Anything longer: I will be happy to discuss :)

    First-time clients should pay in cash only- hundred-dollar bills only, organized and front-facing, with or without an envelope. Established clients may rarely use Cash App, Venmo, Zelle, or Bitcoin. Hand me the tribute if you are coming to my place and, if I go to you, leave the tribute in the bathroom, in stacks of $1000.

    • 48 hours to 25 hours notice: 50% of tribute

    • Within 24 hours: full tribute

    • Overnight, within same week: 50% of tribute

    • Overnight, within 48 hours: full tribute

    • Tour, within two weeks: 50% of tribute

    • Tour, within one week: full tribute 

    My time is valuable​: deposits are never refundable or transferable unless there is an act of Goddess. All cancellation tributes are due within 48 hours of ​notification.​ I would suggest texting my 917 number given to you during booking, on top of your emailed cancellation, so that I am sure to receive the notice.

GIFTING & MORE FOR YOUR MISTRESS

  • An open mind and a good attitude! If you want to bring a gift, not required, then anything off my wish list is a good start. I adore still water in glass and fresh flowers. I prefer to only receive flowers while home in NYC. I love dark red, pink, or white roses, peonies, and ranunculus. Please do not bring me any food or sweets. If you want to feed me then I suggest a lunch or dinner date. I do not drink alcohol. For a practical gift, then a physical Amazon, Whole Foods, or Uber gift card is perfect. Please see my wish list or Instagram highlight called “wish list” for more ideas. 

  • I love first edition or signed books by people like Eve Babitz, Hunter S. Thompson, and William S. Burroughs. I also love it when you donate to the charities on my wish list page. Rescue Spa gift certificates are perfect sent to my public or private email address and addressed to Ramona Ryder. The wish list highlight on my Instagram has cool stuff like taxidermy.

  • I do have a mailing address which I will give out when asked. It is not my home but some dear friends have a safe place to receive mail.

  • Read my FAQ. Be clear and succinct during our correspondence.

OUR MEETING, LOCATION, IN-PERSON PRESENTS, TOUR, OVERNIGHTS, & FMTY

  • I usually tryst in a four-star Union Square hotel in Manhattan. You can pay an additional $333 towards the reservation fee in order for me to procure a suite at a grander hotel near Wall Street, 5th Avenue and 42nd Street, West 57th Street, Central Park South, or Soho. The reservation fee covers my booking for the Union Square location and a possible Uber only. I do not use dungeons, or any shared spaces, because they are often unsanitary or booked.

    I offer outcalls (three-hour minimum) in Manhattan, anywhere but Union Square is easiest, and Brooklyn, Williamsburg preferred, only. Times Square incurs a $77 fee as it is a New Yorker’s nightmare.

    NO Queens, Bronx, Staten Island, Long Island, New Jersey (really?), or private residences.

  • I usually in a suite at a four- or five-star hotel. We will always have a sitting area. I do not use dungeons because they are often unsanitary or booked.

  • I generally see clients as early as 10am (tour only) and usually 1pm (NYC), with three-hour sessions generally ending at 9pm. I have flexibility for dinner dates and longer dates.

    I do not offer same-day bookings.

  • I tour select cities and my tribute stays the same when I grace those cities. I rarely say yes to “FMTY” requests but you can try me. I suggest you come to NYC. My preferred cities are Boston, San Francisco, and Los Angeles. It is easy for me to do a FMTY, or train me to you, to Philadelphia, Washington, DC, Baltimore, Chicago, Miami, Asheville, or Richmond.

  • Overnights involve dinner, not that much sleep, and room service breakfast. They last approximately 16 hours, such as 6pm to 10am. I can show up before dinner to fool around and drop off my suitcase so we can go to dinner together. If it is more than two nights then I require about eight hours of sleep and space in the morning to meditate. I will need my own room for overnights lasting more than two nights unless you’re on a business trip and busy all day. In that case, send me to the spa! I’m at my best rested with some time in the morning to myself.

    • My tribute (duh).

    • Alcohol if you want it, vapes do not bother me, and I rarely say yes to substances but try me. I personally do not “party” anymore. I may no longer drink alcohol, but feel free to imbibe booze if you wish for your own enjoyment; I want you to be comfortable and relaxed during our session. Not a lot phases me; please enjoy yourself as you wish even though my right to party has been revoked and has not yet been reinstated.

    • Something from my wish list that is easy to carry, such as a book (first edition, harder to find like HST), something small, or still water in glass at any temperature.

    • I love receiving flowers of all kinds in NYC but prefer no flowers on tour.

    • No attitude/topping from the bottom: Topping from the bottom is a BDSM term for a partner who takes control of a session. It involves directing the action, managing the pace, or manipulating the dominant/expert partner, often stemming from a need for control, trust issues, or past negative experiences. I am a new partner and we are starting fresh together! You should have told me everything during my intake and post-deposit planning process.

    • Healthy cat treats for my cat Chopper. >^.^<

HYGIENE REQUIREMENTS

Hygiene is non-negotiable. Be recently showered and brush your teeth within an hour of an outcall meeting and for an incall, you will shower upon arrival and I will provide mandatory mouthwash. I also provide organic liquid soap in the shower since I feel hotel soap is full of chemicals- your choice what you use.

  • Trimmed nails, toenails, and cuticles as these can damage my stockings. Please also buff calluses as these also destroy stockings. My men have a propensity to, without realizing it, rub their feet on my stocking-clad legs.

  • Clean shaven, or a full beard/mustache- no fresh stubble.

  • Good oral hygiene.

  • When you shower, wash your balls and ass like a good boy.

  • No strong scents such as cologne.

ANAL PLAY: If we are doing any anal play on you, then a water enema is required beforehand. Use a Fleet enema bottle, empty then refill with warm water, insert and squeeze while seated on the toilet, and release immediately- do not hold it in. Repeat two to three times. Do this about two hours before our session and never at my incall. If you’re nervous then take Imodium the morning of and eat lightly that day. I have a hot video on my anal page and some more information.

MY SPECIALTIES, ANAL BOTH WAYS, KINK, NO LIST, & MORE

  • My specialties include: 

    • Vaginal pleasure/dick size: I don’t like dicks over seven inches or super wide as my pussy is tight and my mouth is tiny. I can take larger dicks in my ass even though that is also super tight- I don’t have answers to this one and it is a miracle. I offer female/internal condoms.

    • Anal pleasure on me: any size dick. I love butt plugs and can do regular or vibrating. Fingers are OK sometimes, with a glove, and if you ask for me to gape or fist me then I will never speak to you again. Yes, I do enjoy anal on me and there is no extra fee. No dildos in me! Can totally do a DP with a doubles partner.

    • Anal pleasure on you: prostate massage, p-spot pleasure, curved p-spot metal wand for the best prostate orgasm, and manually inserting dildos versus a strap-on. I rarely do strap-on play, beyond an oral worship, these days. I do not offer “milking” and do not know what you mean by that. I can fist you for an extra $500 and if you provide the location- same goes for heavy anal strap-on play.

    • Worship on me: bare oral worship, DATY, face-sitting, smothering, 69, etc.

    • Worship on you: I love to give a good blow job but I will not do “cock worship” and say a script about the glory of your cock. Tell me if you need the balls or taint because I will skip those unless you ask for it. Venus 2000 available for a $500 travel fee and only on the East Coast.

    • Sensation play: you are usually tied up and I use fur, my nails, and more. If you’re getting too close to coming, sometimes I will use something with a light bite to edge you back. I prefer to combine sensation play with bondage and visual sensory deprivation as you should be in suspense.

    • Bondage: light bondage, usually just the wrists, and always made to be safe and comfortable, while still feeling restrained. I like to use leather cuffs and leather ties. Tie-points can be tricky in modern day hotels so I may have to get creative. I can also collar you for our time together like a good boy. I rarely put your arms above your head and I always make sure that comfort comes first. Oh, and I have gags but rarely use them as I want to be able to kiss you.

    • Sensory deprivation: I prefer to use a soft hood but I have a silk blindfold for the more claustrophobic. We can also use earplugs if requested, but I have a good playlist, and a sexy voice, so you don’t want to miss that.

    • Edging/orgasm control/tease & denial: with a tantra background, I take it slow, and it is best to warn me if you feel close as I want you to come when I tell you to come. I am an expert at not edging you so much that you cannot come, so when I say come, it is time!

    • Fetish wear: latex that is vaginally accessible, stockings with backseams, PVC, nurse outfit, office wear, and schoolgirl…but really? I do love a plaid skirt and crisp white button-down shirt, though! I can easily be your punk goth girlfriend and wear a leather jacket or band shirt.

    • Latex: I can do high fashion latex for lunch or dinner dates or elaborate latex play for serious fetishists only- must adore shining me and love the smell of rubber. If you want to see shiny, but are not into latex, then request shiny or PVC please!

    • Nipple play: sensual activities such as nails, teeth, tongue, and my lips softly grazing your hard nipples.

    • Pain: not really my thing, unless you’re a true masochist- I am a sensual domme not a hardcore capital “D” Dominatrix these days.

    • Miscellaneous: high-heel worship, stocking worship (no bare feet), violet wand (travel fee), and vintage lingerie fetish such as bullet bras.

    • Soft limits: role play, spanking, face-slapping, spitting, trampling, needles, sounding, e-stim, CBT, impact implements/corporal, nails that leave a mark, NT, etc.- you can always ask if I do more hardcore fetish or dominatrix activities but it is up to me whether it is right for our session. I am a tantric provider first above all else, so the energy exchange must be hot, heavy, and sensual. I have had extremely beautiful sessions involving caning, spanking, and a lot more hardcore BDSM but only with those who drip for it.

    • Touching my face, neck, head, or hair.

    • Topping from the bottom/telling me what to do incessantly.

    • Adding new activities during a session without asking me before our meeting.

    • Toilet play piss play/golden showers and whatever else a toilet entails.

    • Anything messy fisting without you hosting plus the $500 fee, shaving without you hosting, squirting toys, massage with oil, or anything generally deemed messy.

    • Bare back, rubbing/touching genitals together. CIM is 100% A-OK!

    • Photographs or filming no camera glasses- read the blog!

    • Role play because most of you are really bad at acting so it is awkward. If you do not suck at role play then we can discuss.

    • Dirty talk as I prefer to feel the heat and passion, not name it. Not speaking can and will strengthen our intensity.

    • Fantasy involving feminization, sissification, people not present, forced bi, or CNC.

    • A third party that I do not know whether it is a personal partner or provider- my friends list is here.

    • Degradation of any kind including race, gender, religion, or body type. I do not enjoy verbal teasing, humiliation, or being mean and I will not do this ever.

    • Smoking fetish.

    • Forced intoxication/intox you can drink or bring other substances, with permission, but I will not give them to you.

    • Being fully nude I will always have a garter or waist cincher on with stockings.

    • Bare feet/footjobs.

    • Watches worn during sessions…especially an Apple Watch!

  • It is always best to tell me everything in the contact form succinctly! Include your hard limits, injuries, physical limitations, or relevant health or sexual conditions.

    Some things to mention could be if you are obese, hearing or visual impairment, erectile dysfunction, or maybe inability to come with a partner on your contact form or before our session. I will always respect these concerns and work around them i.e. I have special cuffs and collars for heavier men.

    Do not list things already on my no-list above- it tells me you have not read the FAQ but I guess if you got this far then we will get along just fine.

  • Classic lingerie, latex (with crotch access and only for real fetishists), leather, vinyl, PVC, and pin-up are all in my rotation. I have black, leopard print, zebra print, white, green, red, and pink lingerie. I have bodysuits and basques in sheer, lace, and latex. I have a huge collection of Agent Provocateur, Bordelle, Honey Birdette, and an insane collection of latex. I will never be fully nude, always in garters and stockings, or at least a waist-cincher or corset. Do not request an outfit you haven't already seen me in unless you are offering to buy it.

  • Overnights involve dinner, not that much sleep, and room service breakfast. They last approximately 16 hours, such as 6pm to 10am. I can show up before dinner to fool around and drop off my suitcase so we can go to dinner together. If it is more than two nights then I require about eight hours of sleep and space in the morning to meditate. I will need my own room for overnights lasting more than two nights unless you’re on a business trip and busy all day. In that case, send me to the spa! I’m at my best rested with some time in the morning to myself.

    • My tribute (duh).

    • Alcohol if you want it, vapes do not bother me, and I rarely say yes to substances but try me. I personally do not “party” anymore. I may no longer drink alcohol, but feel free to imbibe booze if you wish for your own enjoyment; I want you to be comfortable and relaxed during our session. Not a lot phases me; please enjoy yourself as you wish even though my right to party has been revoked and has not yet been reinstated.

    • Something from my wish list that is easy to carry, such as a book (first edition, harder to find like HST), something small, or still water in glass at any temperature.

    • I love receiving flowers of all kinds in NYC but prefer no flowers on tour.

    • No attitude/topping from the bottom: Topping from the bottom is a BDSM term for a partner who takes control of a session. It involves directing the action, managing the pace, or manipulating the dominant/expert partner, often stemming from a need for control, trust issues, or past negative experiences. I am a new partner and we are starting fresh together! You should have told me everything during my intake and post-deposit planning process.

    • Healthy cat treats for my cat Chopper. >^.^<

MISCELLANEOUS

  • Reply to our last email with your preferred date, session length, and a time. No new threads, no new contact form resubmissions, and no P411 messages.

  • Yes, but please ask first, and ideally tell me before our session. TER and PrivateDelights are my preferred platforms for reviews. Both sites are a good way to get to know me before we meet as YMMV does not really apply to this Mistress.

  • Just give out my private email and no need to ask first- there is no expiration date for this. I can verify you on all review and verification sites when requested.

  • Height: 5'9"
    Weight: 116lbs
    Shoe: 9US/EURO: 39
    Bust: 32C
    Waist: 24"
    Hips: 33"
    Legs: 36”

Biography, Website & Photography Credits, & Notes for Fellow Providers

CREDITS

  • This kinky goth punk escort based in NYC is a multifaceted character with a life story that's never been boring. I have lived many lifetimes before becoming your Mistress. Get to know me better by reading my bio page. I hope you are a part of my future!

  • It took great effort and endless hours to design this site in collaboration with Erin Black of Black Ash Consulting. Black Ash Consulting designed and custom-coded my site, and I created all the content. Again, all the writing on the site is mine and mine alone. It is insulting to question whether I wrote my own ad copy. I am a writer if you can’t tell already from my blog which I call Musings on my site.

    My primary photos were shot by Elizabeth Raab, Hello Miss Photography, Inamorata, Point of Vue, and Alexandra Kacha.

  • CLIENT REFERENCES:

    If your new client used me as a reference and you need a reference from me, do NOT fill out my contact form. Please ask your potential client to provide my email address and contact me that way. 

    When emailing me, please include the following information:

    • Client Name

    • Client Email Address

    • Client Phone Number

    • Link to your website and/or ads as to verify you as an established provider

    AD COPY:

    If you are writing or rewriting your website, I suggest that you do not have another provider’s site open as you write your own ad copy as inadvertently, you will steal content. Stealing is never in good taste and rarely goes unnoticed.

    NEW PROVIDERS:

    I’d be happy to chat with you about screening, safety, and provide other resources. Hopefully, you’ll in turn, do the same thing with other providers after you are more established. I will only help when asked and at my discretion. My biggest gripe in the industry is when we do not help each other. It is a community not a competition- there’s enough sun on the beach for everyone!