I am definitely a prurient princess everyday but my life is not all about hedonism. The first thing I do when I wake up is meditate for thirty minutes. Unless, of course, I have chosen to get off immediately upon awakening- I do enjoy morning pleasure! After I meditate, I make tea and eat breakfast. I like to listen to NPR and read the New York Times in the morning; I feel it is my duty to be informed about the state of affairs, however dismal it may be these days.
I have the same routine when I travel alone. When I travel with my men, I like to wake them up with a sloppy morning blowjob. I try to time this before room service so that we don't have any interruptions. Room and maid service always seem to come at the most inopportune moment! I love to be naughty in those crisp hotel sheets at all hours but especially when we are just beginning to stir in the morning. In order for you to get a sense for what I look like, I thought I'd let you see me without makeup in one of my favorite negligees, casually relaxing at Chateau Marmont in Hollywood.
One thing I always do when I travel abroad is write postcards. I would be happy to send you a postcard from overseas if you give me a discreet address. Postcard and letter writing are indeed a lost art but, nevertheless, one that this old soul has a deep passion for. I refuse to "get with the times" as sending mail is a way of expressing my love and longing- basically, a tangible way of saying, "wish you were here" or conveying that I am thinking about you.
My last big trip was to Cuba over New Years. Cuba just recently reinstated mail service which they had not had since the Revolution. It was very special for me to be able to send postcards from there. They took ages to get to the recipients though- some took two weeks others two months. Just like the Cuban government itself, there was absolutely no logic to this.
I'm signing off for now but I do hope we get to wake up to each other soon. Or, at least, lie around in bed together and be naughty.
xx Ramona Ryder
Tie and tease is bound to please!
xx Ramona Ryder
My favorite shoots are always in Los Angeles. I have a dream team down there who I like to work with; it makes shooting feel more like vacation than work. Although, I must say, it's still not easy holding poses while balancing on sky-high Louboutins all day! My partners in photographic crime consists of my photographer Elizabeth Raab and Seth Asbell who does my hair and makeup. My first shoot with them in 2016 was a perfect match from the beginning even though none of us had ever met, we all came together beautifullyas a team. Seth styled me to look more 1950s pin-up and curled my normally straight hair which made me feel so sexy! We totally channeled Bettie Page in that shoot and Elizabeth gave great direction as a photographer.
We played around with more fetish fantasy and got videos like this during our second shoot together.
The Chateau Marmont shoot was one of my favorites. I'm obsessed with old Hollywood glamour, art deco (Chateau Marmont was built in 1929), and the excesses of a rock'n'roll lifestyle. If you know the history of this legendary place, then you'd understand that this was Ramona's dream land. It reminds me of the Breakers in Palm Beach but with beautiful people instead of stodgy old money. You can feel the history of debauchery in the bones of the entire place- let's just say there has been a lot of naughty behavior there! John Belushi died of a drug overdose in the now infamous Bungalow 3, John Bonham of Led Zeppelin drove his motorcycle through the hotel, Jim Morrison may or may not have fallen off the roof, Billy Idol trashed a hotel room there, and hot messes like Courtney Love have definitely pulled their antics there. While taking photographs on the grounds we got scolded by hotel staff but we still got away with some killer shots. We could not have done that shoot without my loyal lifestyle submissive who captured some teasing video of me, much of which is yet to be released. Expect to see more videos of me throughout 2018!
The most recent shoot was months in the making. I wanted to find the perfect backdrop to capture the true essence of Mistress Ramona; I found it in a gothic castle in the Hollywood Hills/Laurel Canyon. Elizabeth is very resourceful when shooting in confined spaces like hotel rooms but this space allowed us a lot more creative freedom to tell stories through her lens. Here are some spoilers for my yet to be released photos and some behind the scenes shots of your Mistress:
I'm already plotting my next photo session. I just bought a new pair of Louboutins for it and still have an arsenal of virgin lingerie waiting to be seen (and removed) by you. The gothic castle shoot lasted two days and it was a total dream come true in so many ways; thank you for enjoying this fantasy life with me! I had the opportunity to session at the castle and it was so memorable hosting my Los Angeles men in such a magical space.
I look forward to making your fantasies come true whether at Electric Ladyland or during one of my upcoming tours to Osaka, Kyoto, New Orleans, or New York City. Oh, and Los Angeles I plan to be back this year, for sure!
xx Ramona Ryder
xx Ramona Ryder
I love the band The Velvet Underground, they capture that 1960s Warhol Factory-centric highbrow weirdo art and music scene well. Having grown up in New York City, I must admit that any subculture there always feels like the place to be— like it’s really happening. But there is no doubt that the scene from which The Velvet Underground emerged was iconoclastic. Max’s Kansas City, where those pre-punks used to hang out, may have been a bunch of misfits and freaks but the scene consisted of the crème de la crème of society’s rejects like Patti Smith and Jim Carroll.
Nico, who was roaming around at the time, was a Warhol muse. Warhol, the center of that creative community, managed The Velvet Underground for a bit and introduced Nico into their mix. When “Venus in Furs” was recorded it was recorded as The Velvet Underground & Nico. The Velvet Underground had a penchant for taking titles from books. Venus in Furs is a famous BDSM themed book and The Velvet Underground’s name comes from another book about alternative sex culture in post-WWII America called The Velvet Underground.
The book The Velvet Underground was published in 1963 and the band formed around 1964/65. Lou Reed, the singer and guitarist, found a copy of the book lying in the streets of New York City with a friend who liked the title as a band name. Hence, The Velvet Underground as we know it got its name from a book about, according to the dust jacket, “sadists, masochists, and sexual mavericks of every persuasion.” If you’ve ever been in a band then you know how hard it is to come up with a band name! Nico didn’t need a name as she was a name in and of herself. I hope I’m not confusing you but I assure you all roads lead back to perversion and kink with me! This will all come together in the end.
Lou had already written the song “Venus in Furs” by that time in the band’s early history. The song’s title was inspired by the book under the same name by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. You may recognize masoch from the word masochism. The book Venus in Furs is about a man, Severin, obsessed with cruel women, (after a terrifying but arousing childhood experience involving an aunt, restraint, fur, and a serious beating) who begs a woman, Wanda, to take him on as her slave. She resists at first but then embraces him as her submissive. The D/s (Dominant/submissive) archetypes and the visual and tactile fetishes conveyed in Venus in Furs are immortalized by Lou Reed in the song almost 100 years after the book’s first publication.
Reading the book Venus in Furs seared that archetype in my brain of a dominant woman adorned in fur. The lyrics of The Velvet Underground captures the basic themes of this dynamic relationship and turns it into an almost Dominatrix cliché which I have channeled in some photo shoots over the years.
Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather
Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart
Ermine furs adorn the imperious
Kiss the boot of shiny, shiny leather
Shiny leather in the dark
Taste the whip, in love not given lightly
Taste the whip, now plead for me
— The Velvet Underground
The book captured the craving to submit and the song captured the fetishism and aesthetics of the dominant Mistress. Not to fall down an etymology rabbit hole, but I must elaborate on what I pointed out earlier that masochism is a word derivative of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch’s last name. In a similar vein, Sadism was derived from the name of the Maquis de Sade, another scandalous author from the same era. Literature has played a crucial role in influencing our terminology in kink. The German psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing introduced the terms "Sadism" and "Masochism"' into medical terminology in his work Neue Forschungen auf dem Gebiet der Psychopathia sexualis ("New research in the area of Psychopathology of Sex") in 1890.
I could go on and on. I love losing myself in books and history as much as I love losing myself in a hot kink scene in session. For those of you new to kink, masochism means one who enjoys pain. Pain can take many forms and pain can be pleasurable or fun such as teasing taunts or playful spankings. My favorite torture to inflict is tease and denial and edge play where you so desperately want relief but I refuse to give it to you. Sadism involves enjoying inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others. I only enjoy sadism when I have a masochistic bottom to receive my hard slaps, playful berating, firm commands, or brutal sensual tease and denial. Maybe you’re a masochist? Maybe you’re just curious? Maybe you’re just a fellow fur and boot fetishist like myself. I invite you to step into my world and quell your curiosity to the tunes of the Velvet Underground. Let me be your Muse.
Your Mistress and Venus in Furs,
xx Ramona Ryder
This year was exceptionally marvelous. I am living my best life and I don’t plan on stopping! My first love is pleasure but my second love is travel and the combination of the two is what my dreams are made of. So let’s see- I kicked off 2017 in a private hot tub under the stars at Calistoga Ranch in Napa Valley with a dear client. And baby, it only got better from there!
I've wanted to go to Japan for as long as I can remember; the stars aligned and it was finally my time to go. My first trip to Japan coincided with cherry blossom season this past April. Seeing the cherry blossoms at Tōdai-ji temple surrounded by deer in Nara was heaven. My second trip was in the fall and autumn was vivid- seeing the leaves change in Kyoto was breathtaking. I really had good timing with both trips. I was also blessed with interesting clients and had a lot of fun with Japanese and expat men alike!
Along with my libido, my collector heart was lit on fire as well. I loved how organized Japanese record stores were. Some of the larger chain music stores even had entire rooms devoted just to punk. It's basically Ramona heaven! I prefered record shopping in Osaka, although the hunt was fun in Tokyo. That said, record shopping in Japan can be confusing; it's hard to tell whether a record is used or a repress as all the vinyl is in such good condition. Basically, it’s a record collector's paradise! I definitely picked up some Japanese pressings of classic Rolling Stones albums with Japanese obi strips and the like as well as many items off my want list within my personal collecting niche: 1980s Japanese hardcore punk. Of course I caught a few live shows both trips which were amazing as I got to see some of my favorite bands. Also, shows in Japan are air-conditioned so I could keep my leather jacket on comfortably which delighted me.
One of my favorite moments in Japan, after a hard day of shopping, was eating sashimi in Kōenji. Kōenji is my favorite district in Tokyo; it has great vintage and record shops. The restaurant was tiny with a little room in the back, past the classic sushi bar. You had to take your shoes off to enter and sat cross-legged on a tatami mat as you were served the most incredible raw fish. I felt amazing after that meal and was truly satiated. There were many moments in Japan where I longed for nothing as I was completely satisfied. It is a place that fulfills many of my desires on so many levels.
Where else did I go this past year that’s worth a mention? Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles was a total blast. I am a sucker for the 1920s glamour and historical rock’n’roll debauchery that haunts every inch of that hotel. Eating in the garden terrace was a delight! I enjoyed staying at the Ace Hotel in New York City and drinking copious amounts of Stumptown decaf Americanos. I always love returning to my hometown during the summer as NYC in the summer is pure magic. I love walking the city streets on hot nights, running into old friends, and people watching. I would choose a crowded subway car over Bay Area traffic any day! Unless I’m on my motorcycle and lane splitting here in the Bay (which is illegal in New York).
I spent some time in the majestic mountains in North Carolina. I did a quick jaunt to Mexico City right after Thanksgiving. I, of course, went to Napa a few times to go wine and dine with a few gents. Well, more like sparkling water and some of the world’s best restaurants. Right now all I can really think about is how I’ll be ringing in the New Year in Havana, Cuba! And then shortly after jetting off to Tokyo…
I am so grateful for this past year and I am filled with excitement for next year’s travels and adventures. To those who have stayed in my life and to those that I have met this year; you are what it means to be generous and thoughtful. To those that I have yet to meet: what are you waiting for? I invite you to be a part of this upcoming New Year with me. So mark your calendars and plan on enjoying another fantastical year with your favorite Mistress!
xx Ramona Ryder
When I get a hold of you honey
Gonna light you up like Christmas
I've been naughty all year long baby!
xx Ramona Ryder
Missed getting her a present in time for Christmas? Well, here's your chance to get on her nice list.
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
– Ramona Ryder
I usually wake up naturally before or with the sun and I always sleep naked. I begin my days by luxuriating in my Frette sheets as I run my hands over my warm body; feeling my hard nipples, smooth skin, the coolness of the last vestiges of the night’s air gracing my exposed flesh as I watch the blue winter sunrise sneak in through velvet curtains. As I lie there I feel grateful for another day. Many mornings, as I reacquaint myself with being awake, I touch myself.
Starting the day with an orgasm is my secret to my good disposition. Sometimes I orgasm in my sleep which is always so dreamy- it’s amazing how powerful our minds can be! After I have indulged in the warmth of my flesh, I get out of bed, put on a black silk robe, and happily begin another day. As a woman who is devoted to experiencing and giving pleasure I surely have no reason not to delight in my daily existence.
I am truly spoiled between the pleasure that I give myself and the pleasure that is bestowed upon me. But what I love most is giving pleasure to others as this pleases me deeply- I am a very giving woman. So this holiday season treat yourself to some lust indulgence with this Mistress. What better gift to give yourself than the gift of pleasure? I am very naughty but also very nice so spoil yourself my dear as we’ve both earned it all year long. We'll have so much fun immersing ourselves in pure carnality no matter what we get up to! In lust we trust and you can always trust this Mistress to consummate your desires.
xx Ramona Ryder
Are you naughty or nice? Either way, we both get spoiled in the end so indulge my wish list and please your Mistress by surprising me with a gift or donating to a favorite charity. ‘Tis the season for giving, right? Or spoil us both all night long during an overnight and start your day off right by waking up next to me!
Follow me now and you will not regret
Leaving the life you led before we met.
– Black Sabbath
If I had to choose an archetype I identify with, it would be the classic femme fatale. I am the seductress and I always have been. I radiate sex even when I try to behave— it is in my nature. Even sitting in church as a teen I’d watch men stare as I crossed and uncrossed my legs, which I enjoyed immensely, or I’d make eyes at the minister’s son across the pews. I just cannot behave nor do I want to! I have always been consumed with enjoying my physical self and finding any excuse to be naughty, anywhere and anytime. I believe that Ramona Ryder is my destiny.
Giving pleasure and harnessing my sexuality is what I enjoy most in this world and I am grateful to live a life where I can own my strong sexual nature. I love motorcycles, rock’n’roll, sparkling water, and traveling the world, but what it comes down to, in the end, is this: give me sexual pleasure or give me death. Pleasure rules me and I have resigned myself to a hedonistic lifestyle.
According to Asterian astrology, I was born under the star Hades and this star is ruled by Venus. Hades represents the underworld and Venus, as most of you know, presides over love, beauty, desire, and sex. Venus is all about pleasure, especially pleasure shared with someone else. Being born under this alignment has definitely caused my life to be filled with strong sensual energy.
Depending on what mythology one follows, the symbol of Hades is a triangle. The triangle is also the symbol for the vagina and the divine feminine. The triangle references three stars that are also known as "the Buckle of Isis" and were perceived by ancient astrologers to be portals between worlds. So, may I act as your gatekeeper between the world of restrained society and my underworld of debauchery…please take my hand and come with me!
xx Ramona Ryder
"Now I have you with me, under my power
Our love grows stronger now with every hour
Look into my eyes, you'll see who I am
My name is [Ramona], please take my hand"
– Black Sabbath
A client recently gifted me the book Porn Art by Dahmane featuring Chloë des Lysses. He handed it to me saying, “This is the French queen of anal sex for the Bay Area queen of anal sex.” Yes, this man has got me pegged and knows me well. The book features artsy black and white photos of Chloë with insertables in her derrière as if they’re not even there. It’s just her, casually being beautiful with a large dildo inside her rear accompanied by captivating nonchalance. The photos are tasteful and classy even in their perversion. This is the essence that I wish to bring to you in person when we engage in play—an essence of natural and classy perversion.
Anal play has occurred as long as humans have fucked on this Earth but is taboo in our society. I don’t find it taboo at all and I genuinely enjoy it. Chloë in Porn Art is so fantastic because not only does she look comfortable engaging in anal penetration but it also looks natural and normal; she takes the taboo out of it. For her, like me, putting things in her behind is no big deal and is actually a rather pleasant experience. It shouldn’t be a big deal to engage in that form of pleasure.
I am grateful I have yet another way to experience sexual ecstasy through penetration as I have trained my body to enjoy it with ease. My relationship with anal play has evolved over time and I have a deeper level of enjoyment now after years of exploration. My anal journey began while I was in college. I had acquired a nice collection of dildos for hot strap-on play with a girlfriend whom I dated for a few months. I decided to experiment one day as I was home masturbating. I used a smaller dildo from our collection, lubed it up, lubed myself up, and lowered myself onto it.
There’s the initial “holy shit!” feeling when you begin to engage in anal play. This can also be the reaction to the first sensations of entrance if you’re rusty or if a partner (or insertable) has a particularly large girth. That jarring feeling subsided quickly as I focused on my breathing and relaxed. So I kept going and it was great! I used a vibrator on my clit and I got off...hard!
As my anal journey progressed I figured out how to stimulate my G-spot from behind (the tissue between the rectum and vagina is very thin!) and have added a multitude of toys to aid in this form of pleasure. I love using butt plugs alone or with a partner. Pulling gently on it as my clit is pleasured adds a wonderful sensation that creates sensual warmth all around my nether regions. Using a butt plug adds to a tighter sensation during intercourse. I can reach climax through anal penetration alone but it also pairs perfectly with clitoral stimulation. I simply adore getting penetrated from behind – it hits that magic spot deep inside.
Helping men experience their magic spot is also one of my specialties. It is pain-free and pleasurable when anal play or training is done slowly and sensually. The act of working one up also builds trust between us; this intimacy leads to a deeper and more intense session and overall climaxes for all. Therefore, I am a versatile and experienced Anal Queen in regards to receiving and giving but if you only want to give and not receive, that is fine with me! Just gently massaging the rosebud, even without penetration, can add a whole level of sensation to our play! I look forward to experiencing hedonism together: up mine, yours, or both...so all hail to the Anal Queen!
Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use. – Emily Post
I may be a hipster in the streets and a femme fatale in the sheets but I am always a lady at the table. Maybe the last thing you expected to read in a blog post from me is a quote from Emily Post? Well, as you will come to see time and time again, I am full of surprises! And, once you think you have me figured out, this chameleon will always pleasantly surprise you. Luckily for you, you can truly have yourself a girl that “can do both” and Ramona Ryder can do a lot more than both.
I can ride motorcycles and horses, both English and Western styles. I can write dirty smut during the exchanges leading up to our next debauch or I can write a proper thank you note after receiving a thoughtful gift. And yes, I do have my own stationery and send handwritten notes often; a letter always says it better. I can cure what ails you as a naughty nurse and have an in-depth conversation about the current state of our healthcare system and insurance industry (and good medical companies in which to invest). I can deny you a taste for hours during a tease and denial session and then satisfy your hunger during a proper dinner date. My behavior can read like a dirty French novel in session and I can translate the menu at a French restaurant after as we discuss French existentialist writers. Reading No Exit in high school was a game changer but my favorite Sartre drama will always be The Flies. I enjoyed the ghosts of Café de Flore during my last visit. And yes, I have eaten many magical meals in Paris and ordered them in French, mais oui, mon cherie!
On the topic of food, I’m always a little surprised when I go to a Michelin-starred restaurant or Zagat favorite in San Francisco on a dinner date to glance over at the next table and see fellow patrons donning jeans. Maybe I should mind my own business or be less judgmental but this New Yorker refuses to adjust her standards to the multitude of faux pas committed frequently in the Bay Area and in this modern age in general. I remember when I first moved to San Francisco I would run into people and they’d ask, “Oh you look nice, where are you going?” And I would flatly reply, “the supermarket” as if being put together was a special occasion! You can rest assured this girl does not own sweatpants!
For as much of a rebel as I am, or at least appear to be, I most importantly believe in certain traditions and protocols, particularly regarding manners. Maybe one does not know how to use the proper fork during a 5-course tasting menu but if one opens doors for me and thanks the waiter, my heart is always filled with the deepest respect. Having proper manners not only shows one’s true character but it is an act of respect to those around you. Emily Post is right in stating, “Whenever two people come together and their behavior affects one another, you have etiquette.” We have a certain etiquette during our email exchanges, our interactions when we first meet, in session, after session, and when we are out in public. Luckily, I do a thorough job screening, so the men with whom I choose to engage with are always respectful and gracious. Emily Post’s statement that, “Good manners reflect something from inside—an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self” resonates deeply with me. I am a very lucky prurient Princess as my men do hold themselves to this standard!
That said, I do not agree with Emily Post on certain things as times have definitely changed in many ways since her heyday. I most certainly draw the line with this standard of hers, “Keep your hands to yourself!” In my case, please do not do this as it would, after all, be in poor taste and upset your Mistress deeply…unless I have you tied up, in which case, let me have my way with you like a good boy!
xx Ramona Ryder
Vinyl is the real deal. I’ve always felt like, until you buy the vinyl record, you don’t really own the album. And it’s not just me or a little pet thing or some kind of retro romantic thing from the past. It is still alive. -– Jack White of the White Stripes
My record collection tells the story of my life better than I could in words. Records are a moment in time and act as documentation of who I am. My collection displays a wide array of bands with which I was obsessed, genre rabbit holes I fell down like UK ’82 punk, tours I went on with my bands or others, relics from my travels, gifts from friends and lovers, and so many aurally-triggered memories. If there’s a single with which I become obsessed then I had to track down the 7” or 45 and make it part of my collection. Once I get that uncontrollable urge, whether it’s a noisy punk song or a polished pop hit like Berlin’s The Metro, I have to track it down and make it mine.
I feel like the songs that capture me need to be in my hands in order to consummate the love affair. In a way, it is almost like a snapshot of who I was at that moment when the music moved me. What I was fixated on a few years ago is very different from my current obsessions. Every record I own represents me and showcases the many sides of multi-faceted Ramona Ryder over the years. Music has always been a huge part of my life. Growing up as an only child, the radio was one of the ways I found to entertain myself as my mother would rather read the Sunday Times (or anything, really) in bed than deal with me. I’d make mix tapes and get obsessed with bands, especially on the late-night alternative station. When the internet became a thing, I’d research bands like Nirvana obsessively and learn everything I could about them.
So, if you haven’t already gotten the impression that I am a bit obsessive when I get fixated on things, well, I am a bit obsessive when I get fixated on things. I’m an all-or-nothing kind of gal and my record collection shows it. When I was a teen I found the punk scene and I was off and running. Music basically gave me a reason to wake up in the morning. Attending basement shows led to me getting heavily involved in making punk happen, as I tend to do when I find a passion. The first bands I saw became my friends and we’re still in touch to this day. As I got older (and more organized) I got heavily involved in punk community. I was involved in all aspects from booking shows, being in bands, organizing tours, distributing releases, writing for underground publications, interviews, and hopping in tour vans. Yes, I have definitely been that token cute merch girl on tour!
When I moved from Brooklyn to San Francisco to work at a music magazine I chose to drive cross-country because the thought of shipping my records filled me with dread (as does trusting the postal service in general). What if they got damaged, lost, or stolen? So over the span of five days, I drove across America with my rental SUV filled with black clothing, leather, and vinyl records. I am hopelessly devoted to my records! My materialistic priorities in life are pretty obvious by now but I will say that I tend to give away books. If you’ve ever moved with a serious vinyl record collection then you know that it is a real pain to move them as they are fragile and heavy. I’ve even had nightmares about fires and have woken up in a state of panic trying to decide which records to grab. Basically, my collection owns my heart. I have an emotional investment in my vinyl even though it’s not ideal being so attached to material items. I find a deep solace in hanging out with my collection. I love being able to put on a record, look at the album art, read the lyrics if there’s an insert, and feel that visceral connection. It makes it worth the hassle.
Sometimes people question my love of vinyl as archaic and obsolete and try and point out that it is not a good medium for sound quality. In response, I really like this John Peel quote about the superiority of vinyl records, “Somebody was trying to tell me that CDs are better than vinyl because they don’t have any surface noise. I said, 'Listen, mate, life has surface noise.'” My thoughts exactly, John! How I feel about the analog sound of vinyl records is how I feel about life. I’ll take a first pressing in VG+ condition or better over a digitally remastered MP3 or CD any day. All quotes aside, I am a big fan of John Peel for his support of early punk in the late 1970s in Britain and his insight into music. He had his finger on the pulse on many underground music movements and gave so many incredible bands a platform to reach out of the underground. I definitely own many “Peel Sessions” of my favorite bands from the 70s and 80s (recordings of bands from his show on BBC Radio) on vinyl.
Sometimes I feel I was born too late like I’m not of this generation. I have a landline, I don’t own a television, I read books, and I have my modest record collection. I’m also not on Facebook and I won’t ride a motorcycle or drive a car that I can’t work on myself or have someone explain to me what they are doing in a comprehensible manner. And yes, I drive a stick shift. I also abhor GPS when driving locally. I am a firm believer one should know their way around their own city or town. Does this jumbled list of anti-millennial proclivities make me a Luddite? Or maybe just a hipster (gag me)…whatever, I’m not looking for cool points because I’ve been like this my whole life.
My vinyl obsession even led me to have a record label of my very own for a few years where I distributed internationally. When I decided to end this time-consuming project after ten 7” and flexi releases I had very little inventory to purge and sold it easily. That obsession wrapped up very nicely and it’s another dream that I got to make a reality. My desire for the tangible and tactile is not a new desire for this lady. I guess we both share this passion if you’re reading this. Many of you have driven hours or flown me to you in order to experience Ramona in the flesh. There’s nothing like feeling what you desire in one’s hands, especially when it makes you feel so good.
Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend. – Theophrastus
I am sure you can tell from my straightforward presentation and stellar reviews that I cut to the chase and only mess around when we're, well, messing around! I deeply value clear communication prior to our encounter so that I can get every detail ready for when you walk in the door. I put a lot of planning into every bespoke session and due to this, we have many chapters to our time together, no matter how long.
My creativity knows no time restraints! Part of my preparation for a session is the ritual of getting dressed. I love encasing my long legs in retro-style silk stockings and fastening them to a sexy garter belt. To complete the look, I of course don some Agent Provocateur lingerie to complete the look. I love getting my attire just right and ensuring your heart skips a beat as soon as you see me. Whether wearing a school girl outfit, vinyl nurse's uniform, latex, or simply classic lingerie, you're in for a wild ride!
Time is not a luxury that can be taken for granted so I make the best use of every second we have together. This means planning before our encounter so that we can immerse ourselves once our time has come as we've looked forward to it with anticipation for what felt like so long. Therefore, our moments will be seamlessly prepared and indulged accordingly. My time is limited due to high demand and I understand my men also lead successful and busy lives. This careful planning is me showing respect for your time. I make a great effort outside of session so that I can deliver that Mistress experience accordingly during every second shared.
Sometimes we cannot set aside decadent hours together and can only "fit each other in." It is important to indulge no matter what and make time for our sacred encounters. I believe our sessions are a necessary self-care as they energize and restore my men so they can work harder, feel clearer, and be less stressed after release. I enjoy meeting my men early in the morning to kick-start their day off right or as a well-deserved treat before they head home. I also love it when my men take a restorative lunch with their Mistress as I’m the perfect way to break up a workday. I relish hour-long and 90-minute sessions where we can be fully present and forget the day together.
Our time may have flown by but it was time well spent. Time together may never feel enough whether an hour or a vacation together, but I love that lingering lust and anticipation for the next time! There’s nothing like a passionate hour…oh, the things we can do in an hour! Endless time together could never cure your hunger for this Mistress, but we all know that hunger is the best sauce...
Looks can be deceiving as you found out if you've met me in the flesh and expected a cold Domina. Anyone who has experienced kink with me knows I'm a lover and not a sadist. And anyone who has had an Amour session really knows that I'm a passionate woman! I simply adore a steamy Amour session where we only focus on riding waves of pleasure.
I recently received this email from a client:
The style of your online photos tends a bit toward the cool and distant/remote side, so I expected that there might be at least a hint of that in our dynamic, especially for a first-time encounter. NOTHING about your presence with me was cool, distant, or remote. It was supremely titillating and moving for me- your spirit/energy, lively presence, and your level of engagement/intensity was unforgettably surprising and unforgettably fun.
If you have met me, you know I'm more the "gothy-looking" girl next door than some actual cold and distant femme fatale. The first thing you're greeted with when we meet is my smile. The comments I get most is that I look better in person than my pictures and that you did not expect me to be so darn nice! No matter what experience we shared together, the end result of every session is that I left us both smiling...
Well, you tried it just for once found it all right for kicks
But now you found out that it's a habit that sticks
And you're an orgasm addict, you're an orgasm addict.
I discovered how to masturbate at the age of thirteen. I was reading a woman’s magazine and it explained masturbation and how to touch oneself. So I tried it and it worked—it was as if I had just breathed for the first time! I felt so alive. Just the touch of my index finger on my clit was enough—I don’t even remember fantasizing about anything in particular. After that, I was hooked. Being multi-orgasmic, my masturbation sessions could last for hours.
To this day, I’m still that person who masturbates in airplane bathrooms and back in the day when I still had a desk job, I’d go masturbate in the bathroom at work to quell the monotony. Sometimes I wouldn’t even wash my finger after as I got a perverse satisfaction out of being able to smell my sex as I went back to typing on my keyboard. What can I say? I’m a Pervert with a capital “P."
My pleasure has evolved since that discovery of the magic created by my teenage index finger. I enjoy involving others in my pleasure and exploring with my partners. I have evolved to an intense love of internal orgasms and I can also cum anally. I’ve gotten close from nipple play, too! Exploring my sexuality and getting in touch with my body is a constant mission of mine. I am always gaining a deeper understanding of the range of pleasure that I can experience.
My ideal escape with one of my men is to hole up in a hotel room, even just a night’s getaway in some neat historic San Francisco hotel room, with no other agenda than to luxuriate in bed. Hopefully we’d at least get a full day together with a late check out. Endless pleasure with no pressing time constraints as we drift in and out of sleep to fuck, cum, and eat room service. A real escape into a lovely bubble of hedonism for two, our own little oasis quenching that deep thirst inside.
But back to masturbation: maybe you wonder what I fantasize about and the thoughts that push me over the edge? Sometimes I watch porn but I’d rather lie back and close my eyes. Though I actually find it easiest to cum being on all fours—ass up, head down. My top favorites for mental masturbation that send me over the edge within a few minutes are these three:
One: Being bent over in a public somewhere (outdoors, bathroom sink, over a motorcycle) with my mini skirt pulled up and your pants undone, just getting fucked from behind savagely—either hole! With spit involved.
Two: The thought of a man masturbating simultaneously as he watches me or spies on me (I love voyeurism!) or me masturbating him and watching that cum pour out of his cock, running over my hands. Just the thought of a cock twitching and releasing itself in me is a huge turn on. I love mutual orgasms! I love the image of cumming! I love cocks!
Three: Women squirting. I am a rare squirter and if you have experienced it, consider yourself pretty special.
I am squeezing my Kegels rapidly or holding them tight while these images and fantasies do tape reels in my dirty mind. This causes me to orgasm every time. Anyone who has had sex with me knows that not only am I tight but I have these magical vaginal muscles that literally extract powerful orgasms from the cocks that worship at my temple. I cum with my Kegels—it’s part of the Ramona package.
Pleasure is not only my primary vice but also my primary skill. I am a dominant lover through and through but my pleasure is derived from your pleasure too. I don’t have a good time unless we’re both having a good time…
So on that note, looking for a good time baby?
Sex work is capitalism on my terms.
– Ramona Ryder
I believe I was born to do this. I think I am successful because I deeply love what I do and I do it by choice. I have lived the “square life.” Well, it was more a double life. I'd wear pencil skirts and glasses by day as I worked 9-to-5 type jobs. Then when I'd get home, it was all leather and miniskirts, riding motorcycles and playing in punk bands.
I was always able to walk the line between both worlds and be responsible. I held real substantive professional positions, woke up before sunrise on weekdays, computed my own taxes, and lived in the “real world.” I hold a BA and have a straight-and-narrow career to which I could easily return. But, I would never trade my current life for anything as this is my proper vocation.
I feel it is my calling but it also gives me pleasure. I recently received this email from my first-ever client whom I consider a dear friend. He has watched me this whole time and recently wrote me this:
I am in awe of how you ran with your skills with what you do! In about a year on Night Shift you have upped your game to the top! It’s really no surprise though given your sensual essence. I will always admire you not only as (in some weird way) a friend as well as professional but as a woman who goes for what she wants…sets boundaries around her well-being…rises to the top in her field all IN LESS THAN ONE YEAR!!! I bow down…men fall in love with you…Homer’s sirens!
It was super touching to get this email of recognition from a hobbyist who knows the industry and has seen me since day one. If you want to read more testimonials, feel free to read my Praise page—I was born for this!
The Ramona who you see today did not emerge out of a vacuum. That said, none of this lifestyle or career success has surprised me. I have always been “hot to trot” if you will and (just a little) boy crazy. As I grew older and began to explore my sexuality, I was adventurous from the get-go and willing to try anything once. I am definitely bisexual and a deep lover of pleasure. Pleasure is my favorite pastime whether it’s lazy days in bed indulgently masturbating, watching a man whole-heartedly surrender to me on his knees, or powerful vaginal orgasms produced by deep thrusts and enhanced by my legendary Kegel muscles. I am multi-orgasmic and I live for pleasure—a true hedonist!
As a professional dominatrix and courtesan, I am not “stepping into a role” or “playing a part.” What you see is the real me: an adventurous, dominant woman who is highly sexual and enjoys playing. I do not do anything that does not give me pleasure nor engage with anyone with whom I do not derive pleasure. I do believe I have been successful by being my most authentic self while playing by my rules and standards. So if you see me it’s because I want to see you. When you see me it’s actually me. I don’t really have to “sell” an image. In essence, I am literally and figuratively "selling myself", although under a nom de plume.
From previous blogs or reading my website, you probably already have an idea of who I am but not how I got here, which leads us to the question: How did I become Mistress Ramona Ryder? Well, to take away the mystery, "Ramona" is for my love of my hometown punk heroes, the Ramones. I basically grew up at CBGB’s and running around the Lower East Side where they got their start, albeit many years before when I was a naughty teenager. "Ryder" is a nod to my love of motorcycles and maybe riding something else. One could say that I live to ride. And Mistress is a double entendre as I am a dominatrix, and a lot of you boys are married…
So, where did it all begin? I had been a paralegal for several years and had done well for myself. I was frustrated by the “9-to-5" life due to the hours conflicting with my numerous artistic pursuits in music and writing. Also, my middle class salary just never quite cut it with the cost of living in the Bay Area. So, when I got laid off, being replaced by a computer program, a girl I knew from the music community and had played music with briefly put me in touch with her current boss.
The free-spirited owner took me on immediately, gave me an hour-long training and told me to start the next day. Ramona was born. My first-ever client (whom I quoted when I began this piece) is still one of my most regular and devoted to this day. He started off with an hour session but a few minutes into our time together we enthusiastically extended it.
It was a fantastic experience and set the tone for my sessions to come. Not only was he kind and generous, but he had been seeing providers as long as I had been alive. He deeply cared for my well being and safety and also mentored me in the industry from the male perspective. He helped support me to go independent, as did a strong community of Bay Area providers.
My evolution from tantra to more kinky pursuits began with “sensual domination” mostly involving prostate massage and strap-on play. This opened up a Pandora’s box of all sorts of fun and thus paved the way for me to become a skilled and adventurous pro-dominatrix. Regarding being a domme, I am always dominant in every facet of my life, so that aspect came naturally. And on a professional level, I was beginning to build up quite the repertoire.
While doing sensual domination, I engaged in forced feminization, CBT, role-play that included a lot of cuckold fantasies, golden showers, verbal humiliation and degradation, corporal punishment, and a slew of other fetishes. I had played around in my personal life with D/s dynamics but doing it day in and day out rapidly exposed me to a fuller gamut of experiences and desires.
I could only take four months working for someone else. After a point, I needed to control my schedule and have a more pristine, less shared space in which to work my magic. You may label me a control freak but I am insane about providing a top quality experience and my environment matters. I was also losing a lot of income to the 60/40 cut. Being the business woman that I am and fiercely self-reliant, I transitioned easily to being independent and had a fair share of clients who came with me. I quickly found a beautiful, fully-equipped dungeon and a hip tantra space in the East Bay and I have never looked back.
You now understand a bit more where your mysterious "Ramona" came from. Even if I may seem unbelievable to you, I assure you I am real. It has been a glorious adventure so far and this time of year marks the anniversary of the birth of Mistress Ramona Ryder. I hope this next year brings even more fun adventures which we can explore together.
May the luck of the Irish be with you! If you’re enough lucky to be Irish...you’re lucky enough! And, if you’re enough lucky to be a Ramona man...you’re truly lucky enough!
With Saint Patrick's Day coming up, this lucky Irish-American lass thought she'd tell you a bit about her ancestry. I bet you always wondered where this magical creature came from, so I will give you some history.
My family is mostly from Ireland and Great Britain. We came to Brooklyn before Ellis Island in the 1800s and all stayed in the New York Area until very recently. My father speaks Gaelic. My first word was actually in Gaelic but don't ask me to speak it now as I've all but forgotten it. My mother was raised Irish Catholic. My grandmother from Brooklyn, who was born on St. Patrick's day, was not even allowed to visit colleges as a young lady on dates while being courted as a young woman because her strict Catholic parents assumed Harvard, Yale, Princeton, and Cornell were hotbeds of immoral behavior. Her sister though finagled her way into a secular college, after much protest by her parents, at the age of 17!
My family history in Ireland itself is pretty neat and most hail from Northern Ireland although, on my mom's side, there is Southern Irish. My great great great grandfather came from Donaghmoyne parish, County Monaghan in 1837 and he married a woman from there who died in childbirth. Then later, he married my great great great grandmother, who was also from there. Members of my family were also descended from Scottish settlers in Ulster and were Presbyterian. Some descended from English Protestant settlers who were probably from Berkshire originally. Locals told my father during a recent family ancestry trip that my family there were all Protestant, some Church of Ireland (Episcopal), and some Presbyterian.
My father's side is Catholic on his mum's side and Protestant on his father's side. I will tell you an American immigration story regarding my Irish Catholic side. Maybe you'll see that my rebellious streak runs in my family? My family partially wound up in the States just because one of my ancestors defied his parents and jumped ship to America...
Back in the mid-1800s, Patrick, from County Cork in Ireland was a very smart young lad. Since there were no public schools yet he attended Catholic school. Remember the scene in “Angela's Ashes” where the parents try to get the Christian Brothers Academy in Limerick to take the author? It’s sort of a similar situation. Due to his intelligence they let him attend.
Patrick's uncle was the local priest and had a horse. Patrick loved this horse and spent all his free time with his uncle so he could be with this beloved horse. His family assumed Patrick was spending time with this uncle because he wanted to be a priest. They therefore decided to send him to seminary at Maynouth. In those days, a child in Ireland would not have dared question a parent or disagree with what they thought was best for him (unlike my great aunt fighting to go to college).
But, Patrick did not want this life for himself. So he wrote his cousin who had just established himself in Brooklyn to plead for help. His cousin kindly mailed him the £5 to board ship to America and Patrick was off. When he arrived, Patrick took a job as a City of Brooklyn police officer. He then married an Irish-born woman, served 25 years on the police force, and later went into real estate. His coming to America story is a successful one and he basically lived the dream. My great grandmother was his youngest daughter and the only child who lived to have children. One older brother was even the theater critic for a Detroit paper dispatching reviews of the New York plays. Many interesting people in my family!
For a little bit about my mom's side, they are mostly from Ireland, England, and France. I’m actually a distant cousin of Niki de Saint Phalle and there are many artists in my family!
I'd love to hear about your family history during our next meeting and how your family came to America.
I'll end with an old Irish saying: May you live to be 100 years, with one extra year to repent. So, come behave badly with your favorite Mistress! Happy Saint Patrick's Day, my dear!
I was born a collector, and not only of mens’ hearts, my dear! Long Island, NY was as rural as it got for me being a city kid growing up in Manhattan. When visiting my grandmother out there, I’d make my family take me to yard sales, flea markets, and church sales in this suburbia where people had the space to hoard treasures.
I still have some things I bought from long ago: a beautiful old shot glass I keep rings in, neat jewelry from the 70s or older, an art deco mirror from the 20s, old compacts from the 20s and 30s, furs from the 40s, and so on. I still peruse thrift stores, flea markets, and antique stores when I travel or happen to have free time. Being a cheap thrill, it truly is one of my favorite things to do. One can really get a good feel on local people by looking at their used junk.
My last trip to New Orleans this past summer was filled with last rites crucifixes. A funny item to notice, but being a connoisseur of flea markets and thrifting from Paris to the rural American South, I had never seen so many all at once and everywhere. I believe my focus on these religious items and my fascination with them is due to the fact that I was raised laissez-faire Presbyterian in liberal New York. Basically, my early religious influences were not very influential at all. I snuck out of a service or two as a teenager to make out with a boy at an unsupervised apartment while our parents were still in church, but that was as intense as my “religious” upbringing got.
If you don’t know what last rites crucifixes are, they’re large wooden crucifixes where the top slides off the bottom base and exposes a hidden compartment that is designed to store holy water and candles. One is supposed to stick the cross in a middle groove to keep it upright and place candles in the holes that frame the cross. Last rites crucifixes are a portable altar, if you will. It is my understanding that Catholics used to break these out when someone was very ill and/or dying hence the name “last rites” or “sick call” crucifix. I don’t know of anyone who has ever used one except some guy who said he used to stash weed in one as a teenager.
It seems to be a practice of days long gone. So wandering around antique stores in New Orleans I got to fantasize about their French Catholic roots (and last moments) as I browsed through antique and vintage treasures heavily mixed with Catholic relics. I’m usually on the hunt for jadeite, Order of the Eastern Star rings, vintage native American turquoise jewelry, and Tutmania-inspired jewelry from the 20s.
I am familiar with most of the typical wares that wind up being sold second hand as I have been treasure hunting this way for ages but I like to sniff out the rare and unusual as I get a taste of the local culture. Another way I like to get a feel of the local culture is by going to local grocery stores, or Wal-Marts in America, which are great for people watching...but that’s a whole other blog. Let’s just say that I find pharmacies and army surplus stores in Europe really neat. Did I mention that I took anthropology in college? I truly have a deep fascination with people and culture.
I guess my interest in peoples’ backgrounds, histories, ancestry, and stories are part of why I enjoy this vocation so very much. I get to interact with a great cross-section of people from all over the world and I love hearing your stories. I have a deep fascination with the history of those who cross my path. One of my favorite activities, especially growing up in New York, is looking in people’s windows. I must admit that I am a sexual voyeur and this turns me on greatly. But my main motivation for being a peeping Tom was more about my curiosity regarding what others had in their homes.
What color did people paint their walls? Did they still have vintage wallpaper up? Was their tenement kitchen remodeled or was the tub still in there? Are they hoarders? I would wander the streets and wonder about the status of people unknowns’ rent stabilization. I especially love prewar apartment buildings in New York with their moldings, light fixtures, and glass doorknobs (swoon).
For several years after college I was a geriatric social worker in lower Manhattan with home-bound elderly. It was fascinating stepping into time warps daily. My clients ranged from Park Avenue spinsters, Holocaust survivors, WWII vets who liberated German concentration camps, to Stonewall rioters. I got to see and hear it all. Social work was the ultimate window into people's lives and homes. Second best are estate sales, which are really neat for this nosy prurience as they really let you get a handle on who a person was (or who they wanted you to think they were) based on their lifetime of materialism.
So if we ever go on trip together, know that I will desperately want to go antiquing. I love museums but antique stores are more thrilling as you truly get a feel for lives past. In an uncertain future, materialism has become less important to me. I am satisfied with what I own and I am grateful to not be plagued by the soul-sickness of wanting and coveting. I feel blessed to not suffer in this way currently. I got the ’78 Honda 550 I wanted for years, you know? I am grateful for what I have and I want what I have. I sometimes fantasize about a tall black Chanel cerf tote but trust me, I am able to go about my daily life without it. The problem with making more money is that one’s tastes become more expensive. That said, I still have no interest in Harleys!
At this point, browsing markets is more of an anthropological study and curiosity than it is a desire to acquire more belongings. That material hunger is mostly satiated. What I long for currently are experiences that I have wanted to do for years, such as explore Japan or experience the areas of Great Britain where my ancestors lived or go on a ten-day Vipassana meditation retreat. Maybe exploring Tantra and Kundalini more or doing Forte Femme women’s dominance weekend with the venerable Midori.
Of course I would love to share experiences like traveling to Asia, caroming around Ireland, or jetting across endless uninhabited country on the Trans-Siberian Railway with you. I love trains and road trips as I find looking out the window a rather dreamy experience when not stuck on some boring American highway. I definitely prefer back roads and going off the grid. So, feel free to start fantasizing about a Ramona excursion and we’ll see if we can make it a reality. I'm passport ready, so start packing your bags!
I was going to write an entry about collecting records (part of why I am desperate to go to Japan) but this entry definitely went in another direction. I hope you enjoyed my ramble!
Your Wanderlust Mistress,